Oh $35 Groupon how you mock my quest for weight loss... Remember how I advised that before purchasing a Groupon some independent research should be done? I did not take my own advice.
I arrived at the appointment having followed two days of a no meat, no dairy, light carbs diet. I'm not sure what I expected, but when I saw the treatment room I was terrified. The table looked like a mad scientist had taken his knowledge of gynecological tables, toilets and general plumbing and created this Frankenstein. The idea is this: one would lie on their back on top of this table, knees bent and elevated as if sitting in a chair and with a small spicket in their ass. Water enters the colon through the spicket and fills it. When the "patient" feels like they have to push (move their bowels) they do so and the waste is washed into clear plumbing tubes so you can watch your troubles (and that gum you swallowed in 6th grade) wash away.
Maybe I am just too anally retentive to shit anywhere but a toilet, but I just couldn't do it. The office was very nice and the technician sweet, but there was no way I was going to get on that table and allow watery poop to come out of my butt in a strange place around someone I have just met. I just could not work out how I was going to get the poopy tube from my butt, how do you clean up a "shit storm" on your ass without a shower, do you keep leaking poo when you get off the table? These are questions I am not prepared to answer.
I did not ask for a refund. I was just so glad to be leaving. Now when tells me I am "full of shit" I smile and agree!
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