Come the holiday season I like to look my best... this is the time of the year I see those folks I only see once a year (unless someone dies or gets married). I purchased a Groupon for eyelash extensions. I paid $69 for approximately 80 lashes (40 per eye).
So, this is how lash extensions get installed (installed?): you lay on a table on your back, a thin plastic shield is placed between your top and bottom lashes and your eyes are gently taped down while the technician begins gluing each lash on to your natural lashes. The process was actually very relaxing and clients are encouraged to listen to their MP3 players (read: iPod, but don't want to offend anyone) during the service.
Choosing the length and curve of your lashes is important. I chose the "C" curve lashes over the straighter "J" curve lashes. The lash length runs in whole numbers from 8 to 18, with 18 being the longest burlesque act-iest size. I chose a length of 9 on the insides of my eyes, 10 in the center and 11 at the outer corners . When I return for the fill in I will request 10, 11 and 12. My lashes look full, but not as dramatic as I would have liked.
The lash installation took about 90 minutes... in addition to natural looking enhanced lashes, I also got a mini nap during a lunch hour. I am very happy with the results, but they aren't without consequence. Here are the lash extension rules I was given: 1) like mogwais, don't get them wet... for 24 hours; 2) do not put any kind of oil on them- use only oil free cleaners, moisturizers and makeup and 3) do not curl them.
Here's the down side so far: my eyes were red and glassy for a few hours after the application, the lashes need to be "filled in" every 2 weeks to keep looking full and when they fall out and get in your eye, they are much more uncomfortable then natural lashes.
The upside is that my lashes look great without mascara and that's one less thing to do in the morning. So far this is only something I plan to up keep during the holidays and then phase out. It's expensive and inconvenient when it comes time to remove eye makeup. However, this will definitely be a part of my pre event (funerals, weddings, any place I'll be photographed and Facebooked, etc) rituals.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Vela Shape and the case of the lumpy belly
A friend of mine had Vela Shape done on her thighs and it slimmed them down considerably. Personally, I loved her large round thighs, they were so powerful, but she like to wear pants... so she had 'em zapped. It inspired me to take the leap into my own Vela Shape adventure.
I do not have beautifully powerful thighs... I do have what I lovingly refer to as "trunk fat": fat on the trunk of my body - belly and back. Who doesn't love back fat on a lady? More importantly, belly fat is the nemesis I can see daily. It puffs out the front of my dresses and wiggles during dirty do it. It has to go! Even at my lowest adult weight, it wiggled and jiggled like a jell-o commercial.
I purchased my Groupon for $149. The terms of the Groupon were 6 Vela Shape treatments in a small (the size of a sheet of paper, 8 1/2" x 11") area. I chose my belly fat. The treatment facility was very thorough... they took my blood pressure, did a glucose level check, weighed and measured me and even sent in a nurse practitioner for a general check. I was impressed. I'm easily impressed.
The explained the procedure to me in detail and were frank that this was not a massage - it was going to hurt, burn and leave me bruised. All of that proved true. The technician squeezed some juice on my belly and applied this small hellish hairdryer to my spare tire. It pinched and pulled at my stomach while becoming increasingly hotter. It burned - a lot! When it got too bad my technician adjusted the heat. It wasn't too bad. Yes, it was but if it works for me like it did for my friend it will be worth it!
The following day I was bruised and sore, but it didn't stop me from doing anything. I also had to use the bathroom a lot more. Supposedly, the melting fat has to go somewhere... so, it exits.
I will have the remaining 5 treatments once a week over the next 5 weeks. I'm hopeful this will help and it has definitely motivated me to head to the gym and eat right.
I am still waiting for my dream Groupon... 6 treatments of Zerona for $200... gasp! Maybe my Christmas dreams will come true.
I do not have beautifully powerful thighs... I do have what I lovingly refer to as "trunk fat": fat on the trunk of my body - belly and back. Who doesn't love back fat on a lady? More importantly, belly fat is the nemesis I can see daily. It puffs out the front of my dresses and wiggles during dirty do it. It has to go! Even at my lowest adult weight, it wiggled and jiggled like a jell-o commercial.
I purchased my Groupon for $149. The terms of the Groupon were 6 Vela Shape treatments in a small (the size of a sheet of paper, 8 1/2" x 11") area. I chose my belly fat. The treatment facility was very thorough... they took my blood pressure, did a glucose level check, weighed and measured me and even sent in a nurse practitioner for a general check. I was impressed. I'm easily impressed.
The explained the procedure to me in detail and were frank that this was not a massage - it was going to hurt, burn and leave me bruised. All of that proved true. The technician squeezed some juice on my belly and applied this small hellish hairdryer to my spare tire. It pinched and pulled at my stomach while becoming increasingly hotter. It burned - a lot! When it got too bad my technician adjusted the heat. It wasn't too bad. Yes, it was but if it works for me like it did for my friend it will be worth it!
The following day I was bruised and sore, but it didn't stop me from doing anything. I also had to use the bathroom a lot more. Supposedly, the melting fat has to go somewhere... so, it exits.
I will have the remaining 5 treatments once a week over the next 5 weeks. I'm hopeful this will help and it has definitely motivated me to head to the gym and eat right.
I am still waiting for my dream Groupon... 6 treatments of Zerona for $200... gasp! Maybe my Christmas dreams will come true.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
"Colon Hydrotherapy" is code for "hose up your ass"
Oh $35 Groupon how you mock my quest for weight loss... Remember how I advised that before purchasing a Groupon some independent research should be done? I did not take my own advice.
I arrived at the appointment having followed two days of a no meat, no dairy, light carbs diet. I'm not sure what I expected, but when I saw the treatment room I was terrified. The table looked like a mad scientist had taken his knowledge of gynecological tables, toilets and general plumbing and created this Frankenstein. The idea is this: one would lie on their back on top of this table, knees bent and elevated as if sitting in a chair and with a small spicket in their ass. Water enters the colon through the spicket and fills it. When the "patient" feels like they have to push (move their bowels) they do so and the waste is washed into clear plumbing tubes so you can watch your troubles (and that gum you swallowed in 6th grade) wash away.
Maybe I am just too anally retentive to shit anywhere but a toilet, but I just couldn't do it. The office was very nice and the technician sweet, but there was no way I was going to get on that table and allow watery poop to come out of my butt in a strange place around someone I have just met. I just could not work out how I was going to get the poopy tube from my butt, how do you clean up a "shit storm" on your ass without a shower, do you keep leaking poo when you get off the table? These are questions I am not prepared to answer.
I did not ask for a refund. I was just so glad to be leaving. Now when tells me I am "full of shit" I smile and agree!
I arrived at the appointment having followed two days of a no meat, no dairy, light carbs diet. I'm not sure what I expected, but when I saw the treatment room I was terrified. The table looked like a mad scientist had taken his knowledge of gynecological tables, toilets and general plumbing and created this Frankenstein. The idea is this: one would lie on their back on top of this table, knees bent and elevated as if sitting in a chair and with a small spicket in their ass. Water enters the colon through the spicket and fills it. When the "patient" feels like they have to push (move their bowels) they do so and the waste is washed into clear plumbing tubes so you can watch your troubles (and that gum you swallowed in 6th grade) wash away.
Maybe I am just too anally retentive to shit anywhere but a toilet, but I just couldn't do it. The office was very nice and the technician sweet, but there was no way I was going to get on that table and allow watery poop to come out of my butt in a strange place around someone I have just met. I just could not work out how I was going to get the poopy tube from my butt, how do you clean up a "shit storm" on your ass without a shower, do you keep leaking poo when you get off the table? These are questions I am not prepared to answer.
I did not ask for a refund. I was just so glad to be leaving. Now when tells me I am "full of shit" I smile and agree!
Guy Smiley, spokesperson- Zoom! Teeth Whitening
I purchased a Groupon for Zoom! Teeth Whitening for $149. I was very excited about his one. I sort of thought at first my teeth would be so white they would glow in black light like Ross from Friends... no such luck.
The office was lovely and the technician was very nice. The procedure however, not so pleasant. Here's the process: 1- lips are help open with a plastic device, 2- back teeth hold a spacer so your top and bottom teeth are slightly apart, 3- lips are covered with paper for their protection, 4- stinging good is spread over your teeth, 5- glasses are placed over eyes for protection, 6- a laser is placed close to your mouth... for about an hour. I was allowed to watch TV. Then, after the first hour, more gel is applied and the laser is placed back against your chompers for another 30 minutes. At the end of the additional 30 minutes, you can go for an additional 30 or end the session for extra whitening. I chose to end the session because I was so uncomfortable. During the procedure, some gel touched my lip and it became swollen and eventually turned into a sore. I was told that I could only have clear or white foods for the next 2 days. I didn't mind this too much as my teeth hurt so badly I didn't want to eat anything at all.
Nobody warned me about the pain. I was very satisfied with the results even now, over a month later. A word of warning, if you are having this done for a special event, do it 1 to 2 weeks before the event. Nobody wants to wince in pain when the mini quiche goes around, however downing straight vodka at the next family gathering in place of your usually glass of red wine could be entertaining.
The office was lovely and the technician was very nice. The procedure however, not so pleasant. Here's the process: 1- lips are help open with a plastic device, 2- back teeth hold a spacer so your top and bottom teeth are slightly apart, 3- lips are covered with paper for their protection, 4- stinging good is spread over your teeth, 5- glasses are placed over eyes for protection, 6- a laser is placed close to your mouth... for about an hour. I was allowed to watch TV. Then, after the first hour, more gel is applied and the laser is placed back against your chompers for another 30 minutes. At the end of the additional 30 minutes, you can go for an additional 30 or end the session for extra whitening. I chose to end the session because I was so uncomfortable. During the procedure, some gel touched my lip and it became swollen and eventually turned into a sore. I was told that I could only have clear or white foods for the next 2 days. I didn't mind this too much as my teeth hurt so badly I didn't want to eat anything at all.
Nobody warned me about the pain. I was very satisfied with the results even now, over a month later. A word of warning, if you are having this done for a special event, do it 1 to 2 weeks before the event. Nobody wants to wince in pain when the mini quiche goes around, however downing straight vodka at the next family gathering in place of your usually glass of red wine could be entertaining.
Best Facial
I purchased a $50 Groupn for a facial and paraffin hand treatment. It was offered at the office of a local dermatologist. The technician was nice and pleasant, the office was clean and bright and the service, though very clinical rather than spa like, was great!
Because we were in a dermatologist's office the technician was able to use a mini lancet to cut my skin and remove the milia, small white pearly bumps in clogged pores. It pinched, but did not hurt and I did notice some redness afterwards, but it was worth it. Two days later, my skin was healed and clear.
Additionally, going to this office allowed me to meet with the dermatologist who removed (via electric needle) a blood blister under my eye that I had for years. I had consulted two other dermatologists about this procedure, but always avoided having this service done because the procedure was not covered by insurance and the cost was $500. This dermatologist charged me $150 and even allowed me to return to the office for an additional treatment (of the same area) free of charge.
Because of Groupon I now have a new dermatologist who I trust!
Because we were in a dermatologist's office the technician was able to use a mini lancet to cut my skin and remove the milia, small white pearly bumps in clogged pores. It pinched, but did not hurt and I did notice some redness afterwards, but it was worth it. Two days later, my skin was healed and clear.
Additionally, going to this office allowed me to meet with the dermatologist who removed (via electric needle) a blood blister under my eye that I had for years. I had consulted two other dermatologists about this procedure, but always avoided having this service done because the procedure was not covered by insurance and the cost was $500. This dermatologist charged me $150 and even allowed me to return to the office for an additional treatment (of the same area) free of charge.
Because of Groupon I now have a new dermatologist who I trust!
My Hair Removal Addiction Began with a Groupon
One of the first Groupons I purchased was for 3 Laser Hair Removal Session for a small area. When I saw this Groupon I thought, "for $99, I'll never have to shave my under arms ever again!" Bargain!
Wrong! First, laser hair removal is considered semi-permanent and requires a follow up treatment twice a year after the initial treatment sessions are complete. Second, three session are not enough to achieve a semi hair free state. Here was my first Groupon lesson: do some independent research about what you are thinking of buying. For example, before purchasing a service that requires more than one session to achieve the desired affect, find out how many sessions it should take. Needless to say, after 3 painful sessions with a stone age laser my pits are still caveman-tastic and in need of a weekly date with a razor. The amount of hair that has grown back, post 3 treatments, seems the same as before the services.
How does laser hair removal work you say? Well, I have been told by several laser hair removal technicians that the light from the laser travels up the dark hair and to the root. When the light reaches the root, it explodes and/or damages the follicle. The damaged follicle can no longer grow hair. In order for this to happen the hair must be dark all the way to the root or the light will cease to travel up the shaft and the light dissipates leaving the root and follicle perfectly healthy to continue growing hair. I have also learned that 6 session with a more modern laser should be more effective for semi permanent hair removal.
I don't care too much about aesthetics, but this service provider's treatment room was in a closet, inside a hair salon at the mall... we both barely fit in this super tiny room. The laser was so old the technician spread a cooling gel on my skin and I had to aim a cooling air hose toward my pit as the technician was laser-ing to lessen the pain and the smell of burning hair. The service provider was also very hard to get a hold of when it came time to book appointments. My last appointment was cancelled 90 minutes before the appointment time. I tried to rebook with the following week and I could not get a call back for over 2 weeks. Not a pleasant experience. But laser hair removal doesn't have to be this way!
Ah, knowledge is power! I have since purchased a Groupon for 6 laser hair removal sessions for a medium area ($149). This Goupon is with a different business and the medium area I chose to have treated is the Brazilian bikini zone. I have had my first session and I have to say- this experience, though on a more sensitive area, is less painful and more effective. The equipment this technician uses is a much newer model of laser which has a cooling mechanism in the tip with the laser. I can promise minimal pain, because I can think of no more sensitive an area that the ham wallet.
Additionally, I have purchased a Groupon for 6 laser hair removal sessions for a small area ($99). And shall begin the continuing battle with my pit hair this Saturday!
Wrong! First, laser hair removal is considered semi-permanent and requires a follow up treatment twice a year after the initial treatment sessions are complete. Second, three session are not enough to achieve a semi hair free state. Here was my first Groupon lesson: do some independent research about what you are thinking of buying. For example, before purchasing a service that requires more than one session to achieve the desired affect, find out how many sessions it should take. Needless to say, after 3 painful sessions with a stone age laser my pits are still caveman-tastic and in need of a weekly date with a razor. The amount of hair that has grown back, post 3 treatments, seems the same as before the services.
How does laser hair removal work you say? Well, I have been told by several laser hair removal technicians that the light from the laser travels up the dark hair and to the root. When the light reaches the root, it explodes and/or damages the follicle. The damaged follicle can no longer grow hair. In order for this to happen the hair must be dark all the way to the root or the light will cease to travel up the shaft and the light dissipates leaving the root and follicle perfectly healthy to continue growing hair. I have also learned that 6 session with a more modern laser should be more effective for semi permanent hair removal.
I don't care too much about aesthetics, but this service provider's treatment room was in a closet, inside a hair salon at the mall... we both barely fit in this super tiny room. The laser was so old the technician spread a cooling gel on my skin and I had to aim a cooling air hose toward my pit as the technician was laser-ing to lessen the pain and the smell of burning hair. The service provider was also very hard to get a hold of when it came time to book appointments. My last appointment was cancelled 90 minutes before the appointment time. I tried to rebook with the following week and I could not get a call back for over 2 weeks. Not a pleasant experience. But laser hair removal doesn't have to be this way!
Ah, knowledge is power! I have since purchased a Groupon for 6 laser hair removal sessions for a medium area ($149). This Goupon is with a different business and the medium area I chose to have treated is the Brazilian bikini zone. I have had my first session and I have to say- this experience, though on a more sensitive area, is less painful and more effective. The equipment this technician uses is a much newer model of laser which has a cooling mechanism in the tip with the laser. I can promise minimal pain, because I can think of no more sensitive an area that the ham wallet.
Additionally, I have purchased a Groupon for 6 laser hair removal sessions for a small area ($99). And shall begin the continuing battle with my pit hair this Saturday!
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